overworked and not paid at all

People keep promising me that life only gets worse.  And after a long, hard day's work, it's easy to believe!  So in the middle of all that depressing-ness, here's a little bit of sunshine for you're lives:

Done?  Yeah, I know.  They're awesome.  I mean, there's sunshine and rainbows coming from the guy's mandolin.  I don't think it gets much better than that.

Okay, so back to the main point:  sometimes life becomes a little too much.  Juggling work, family, friends, the future, religion, writing, saving the world, writing, reading, and writing can become a little much.  But, see, here's something that needs to be said:  God doesn't just send us into these things unprepared.  If we come to him, sometimes he'll pull off a miracle.

In the Bible, there's a story in the book of David where the Pharaoh sets an impossible task for his enchanters.  He wants them to interpret a dream for him, but he won't tell them what the dream is.  No one can answer, so instead he just tries to have all the wise men of the land (David included) killed.  (nice guy, I know).  When David hears about it, what does he do?  He and his buddies (you may know them as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo) all pray and fast, and God gives them the answer.

Before reading that, I just assumed he just stood up, spouted off some junk, and God made that the answer.  Now I know that's not how it works.  God prepares us, if we do everything we can to succeed.  We just have to trust in him to make us ready and work hard as we can.  David and his friends had to pray and fast and come before God.  It wasn't a random, spontaneous thing.  It's like when you take a test: you have to study for any results--you can't just sit down with a pencil and expect to know the answers.  After all the hard work, believe me, a "B" in a Biology test sure can feel like a miracle.

So don't give up.

Keep working hard.

Have a little faith!

Sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem.  

And yes, that is a cliche, but it's still true.

Love, Firefly

a moment

Haiku:

Rain falls, birds call, tree

See?  The pale pink petals torn

away from the branch?

Sometimes, I just want to sit here forever.  In this place where it is between stillness and motion--frozen.  The warm red glow of lantern light dancing off the walls.  The curtains drawn away from the window, where everything is blue, blue, blue, blurred by the rain.  And I am at peace.

lullaby

Go to sleep now, little one
The time of resting now has come
Close your eyes
To fireflies
And tender tunes the west wind hums

Suns are setting, my sweet child
I remember how once it all seemed strange and wild
But now the day,
With its laughter and play
Has been traded for night, so sleepy and mild

Listen to the way
The trees gossip along
The way the wind turns
The words into song
Listen to the laughter
Hiding in the rain
How it chases off fears
Like playing a game

And sleep, my little one,
Deep, my babe
And wait for the sun
To come home again
For us.

--firefly

people, friends, and strangers

The people around us are important.  They have the power to make us happy or sad or annoyed.  We count on them to help us through rough spots.  Consequently, they count on us.  Loving my friends is pretty much one of the most important things I do.

In Psalms it says that "a friend loves at all times".  That's sorta my motto when it comes to friendship--to treat everyone like family.  My friends and I share books, laughs, games, and snacks.  Pretty much, they're some of the most prominent people in my life.  

But, see, the people who you hang out with aren't the only people in the world.

There was this kid who would come to our school, and everyone teased him.  For the time being, I'll call him Bob.  He had friends; people liked him and hung out with him.  But most of my friends were relentless, and they'd joke about him when he wasn't around, and I started to wonder: what if this sort of thing really hurts him?  What if he just doesn't let on for our sake?

There was another kid a lot like Bob--let's call him Fred--who annoyed everyone.  Nobody liked him, everybody called him a bully, even his friends barely tolerated him.  It was like nobody was willing to look closer at him, just because they didn't like him.  He wasn't even that mean, as far as I could see.

So I guess what I'm saying is, maybe we should look harder.  Maybe we should try harder.  We don't know everything about everyone, even people who are our friends.  in the words of Wendy Mass, "Be kind, for everyone you meet it fighting a war you know nothing about."

Try "Why We Fight"

By the Decemberists.

Love,

Firefly

my place

Hey there.  or hello again--I'm not quite sure how to start.
Outside the sky is like marble--
blue mixed in with white, melded together.
The half light washes over my room.
Gray upon gray upon pale, stormy gray.
The brown branches extend upwards,
Facing the heavens, embracing the soft, dim glow
And I am wondering
If their flowers, like smiles
Blush warm, milky pink
Petals,
Little clusters
Of pearls.
But everyone wants something from me,
So I must go now.
But I will return to my little Haven
Soon.
Thanks for reading.
--Yours, Firefly

mistakes were made

Okay, lets face it: we mess up.
I'm awed by how many times I can muss up an otherwise perfect day.  After a while, you start wondering: is this really worth it?
So, here's a few tips, and a word of advice.
Just because you can never be perfect doesn't mean you shouldn't try.  but it's futile!  cries the little voice in your head.  It's worthless, meaningless!  Worse than a dog chasing it's tail!  My answer to that?  So what!  We're like... like a window.  If you keep the glass unbroken, hide it away in the darkness, it becomes worthless.  If you bring it into the light, it reflects it and bends it and magnifies it--and, if it is a little chipped or even completely shattered, the very presence of light transforms it into something of even greater beauty.  So don't be afraid of your mistakes, or if you are, don't be afraid to admit it.
Here's some tips for dealing with mistakes faux pas, and guilt that gets to us all:
1) Give yourself alone time to work out your problems
2) Confide in someone you trust
3) Don't be afraid to try and fix things.  Apologies are harder than they look, but they're worth it.
4) Pray and read your Bible (if you don't believe in God, look up some verses online)
5) Don't beat yourself up about it.  Instead, learn from it, and don't do it again.
Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving the people around you.
Try Taylor Swift's
"Innocent"
Or Flyleaf's
"There For You"
More later!
--Firefly

loving your parents

Parents.
They're hard to deal with, huh?
And sometimes it gets rough because we know that we're supposed to do all these things like 1) obey them 2) love them 3) respect them 4) listen to them... and so on... but... we don't always do any of it.  Or we get so worried about whether we do it or not that it ends up ruining a ton of things.  Other times, we do everything we can to disobey and disrespect them.  And still other times, it feels like they don't deserve the love, respect, and obedience they're demanding.
I'm lucky--blessed--enough to have a Dad who I adore.  He's my hero, and even thinking about not loving him is beyond my imagination and bordering on my darkest nightmares.  My mom gets a lot less of these happy-go-lucky feelings.  She's a dominating personality.  She likes to be in control.  If you get in her way, there WILL BE NOISE.  She ain't above a shouting match or a good old-fashioned paddling no matter how old you are.  So a lot of our family just totally ignores her and avoids her.
Which is why they don't always see how hard she works.
Or that she really does love them.
Or that when she's hurting you, she hurts herself, too.
I won't pretend to understand everything, but I do know this: Do everything you can to respect your parents.  If it's really so bad that they warrant absolutely no respect whatsoever, then at least obey them.  If they're asking bad things of you, or obeying them would hurt somebody, explain it to them, or ask someone you trust for advice.
But above all, if all else fails, hold on to love for them.  And if they just don't love you back...
Love them anyways.
Please.  I know that it hurts.  I've cried my eyes out over my parents again and again, and its still taking forever to feel alright.  But the Bible says, "love endures all things, hopes all things, believes all things.  Love never fails"
I've struggled to understand this, to trust this, to believe this, to hope this.  I still don't know if I'm ready to trust it.  But listen: I always thought hiding my heart, feeling nothing, was better than a little joy and a lot of pain.  But what if I'm wrong?  What if that's wrong?  What if a little joy is worth all the pain in the world by comparison to nothingness.
I'm asking you to love a little today, and I'm asking it of myself, too, whether you choose to love a friend, a family member, or a boy/girl-friend.  If I'm a bit long-winded, I apologize.
Otherwise,
Listen to Taylor Swift's
"ready to love again" song,
Or the bridge of
The Classic Crime's
"The Beginning (A Single Seed)",
Remember to Glow--
Firefly

love, death, and life

For those of you out there, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
I suppose this calls for a story about love, so here goes: I will talk about the love a two fathers, one great and powerful and beautiful, one fractured and broken and human.  I have a father, (for safety's sake, I will alter names) Robin.  I love him more than anything in this world, and probably anyone.  I also have a Heavenly Father, who is his father, too, and needless to say, I love that one as well.
This year, my Great-Grandma died.  One of my friend's friends died.  A boy at my church was diagnosed with Leukemia.  My a friend of my Youth Leader watched her twelve-year-old son die in a dirt bike accident.  And all this (except my grandma--that comes in later) happened within the space of a week.  I was so surrounded by death, that when someone turned to me and said, "Happy Valentine's Day!" it was... you know?  It felt hopeless, like love was clouded out by sadness and death.
But that is so, so horribly not true.
Because death cannot cloud out love--only emphasize it.
Because the Heavenly Father I spoke about used death to show His ultimate love.  In case you haven't heard, now's the time to listen.  That Father gave his son as a sacrifice of love.  He sent his son, Jesus, into this world knowing he would die, so that we, human beings, corrupt and horrible and heartless, could be His children, too.  And Jesus loved his father enough that he let himself be killed, because he knew his dad could make things right.  He knew that dying would make it right.
So he died.  And then, because his love is just that powerful, because he trusted and obeyed his father, he came back to life.  Because that was the important thing, too: God loved us, you, me, enough that he let his son die so that we could all live.
And that's the Heavenly part of the story.
The other part is my dad, Robin.
Because God took his grandma home this Christmas, and surrounded by all that death, I saw the Heavenly Father give him something else back.  Dad's other Great-Grandma lived miles from us, but she showed up on Valentine's with the announcement that we're going to be neighbors.
Maybe that was confusing, but what I'm saying is this: Love gives, it lives, and it thrives, even in death.  It cannot be defeated by anything.
The Bible says there is no greater love than when a man lays down his life for his beloved.
So pretty much, living for love is great, but dying for love is better.
I hope I haven't confused you too much.
--By Firefly

meet me

As people, we're weird.  It's something I've just recently discovered.  We try to do a lot of things thinking it will do something for us, and then we get confused when things don't work out.  So, here it is:

FIREFLY:
There is a something
That is a light
Buzzing--
At the very farthest
Corners
Of my memories.
It is a small soft, red glow of something
Just past the darkness of the garden gate.
Where all else is black and bleak and biting
Cold
But it stays there,
Bold.
Like a streak of white across the night sky
It is stubborn and obstinate and unmoving.
And so small.
One little light.
Firefly.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when something, anything shines.  We like our dark little corners.  We like to close up the blinds and tuck ourselves away.  And sometimes, that's not what needs to happen.
So I dare you to open up your curtains, just a little.
Love, Firefly