i'm bored

Happy about nothing
Sad about everything,
Take up your masks
And put on a show

Dance across stages
Black ink and white pages
Make one wrong move
And everyone will know.

Some of us wear our troubles like cloaks,
And cover our faces with shadow and smoke
Some of us cower in darkness and fear
Some whisper in hope that another will hear

Our hearts are corrupt, diluted and strange--
We know somewhere in them that living means pain

We build walls of ice, iron, and steel
To help us pretend that our troubles aren't real
We stain them so black that the bleeding won't show
We forget that hurt's something everyone knows.

So draw back the curtains and open the blinds,
It's okay for today to let the sun shine
Feel the warmth on your skin,
Let the light in
And remember all wounds heal in time.

To love at all is to suffer fears great and strong
The chance to make right of what was done wrong
So though it hurts you,
It's what you must do
To rise when you fall and sing a new song.

a rant about life in general.

Raindrops dried on fallen leaves

Hazy blurs of memories

Whispers neath the darkened eaves

Whispering, praying, but no one believes

We are a people who should dance in the rain,

We should run through the storm,

We should cry at the pain,

We should laugh just as hard

As evil things hurt,

We should stand right back up

When we're ground in the dirt

Don't you hear me crying out, screaming out loud

I'm sick of living life all silent and proud,

I want to spin and to fall, to sing and to dance,

To make my own choices, to take a small chance

So make the world slow down,

We're going too fast

There's too much in life

That I can't get past

If you dare to listen to this soundless cry

Let's claw down the curtains and let in the light

We need something more than just "me", "mine" and "I"

If we don't love each other we might as well die

To live is to suffer, to love is pure life

It's a thing about courage, about sacrifice

So stop.

And watch your light glow

Let everything

That ruins you go.

And

You should know

That we'll make it there,

I swear

That we're almost home.

marigolds and primrose

This week for English, out teacher (who has this special, magical taste in literature), made us read "Marigolds".  Now, first, you should know that my teacher (we'll call her Mrs. Steve) really likes tragic stories--"The Scarlett Ibis" (crippled boy is run to death) "The Sniper" (sniper kills his own brother), and "The Cask of Amontillado" (idiot is murdered).  Okay, maybe that last one wasn't that sad, but seriously.
So you might understand why I wasn't expecting "Marigolds" to be that great.
I was wrong.
The story was a little sad, but good, too.  It's about a girl named Lizabeth, and how she destroys a bunch of marigolds that Miss Lottie planted.  On the outside, it's simple.  But it's got a lot that goes on, and the very last sentence it "And I have planted marigolds, too".  Quite frankly, that was the bet last sentence ever.  It other stories, like "The Sniper" and "The Scarlet Ibis", it just ends depressingly.  Like, oh my, the guy I shot was my brother!  and Noo!  I just ran my brother, who was crippled for years and just learned how to walk a few summers ago, to death!  So, yeah.  But this one is different.
Because Lizabeth plants marigolds.
In our culture, people think writers are only great if they kill off characters.  It's like, what made the "Hunger Games" was the fact that everyone likeable dies.  AND THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE BEAUTY IN THAT?!  It drives me crazy!  Or, like, so long as something depressing happens, it's a good book.  SERIOUSY???
So what makes Marigolds different?  It's obviously that last sentence.  I never realized before that how a single sentence can bring out the beautiful in all the bad.  Because Lizabeth plants marigolds, she rebuilds what she destroyed.  She makes up for it.  She repairs it.
That was why it was different--why it was better.  Because it didn't end completely sadly.  I'd like to think that maybe Miss Lottie saw the marigolds when Lizabeth planted them, because that would be the perfect ending.  But, still, it was good enough.  Just the right mixture of a little tragic and a little good.
I can't help but think that maybe if Katniss had panted marigolds, things would have gone better for her, too.  Or maybe she should have panted roses.  Primroses.

he made all things. Pikachu included.

Howdy!  Boredom sure is boring, ain't it?  I'm sure bored.  So, to pass the time, here's a little something I like to call...well, I don't really call it anything, but, this is my love of pokemon in a nutshell:

Yes.  It's true.  Firefly loves Pokemon.  So, anyways, enjoy the walkthrough.  Other good Pokemon youtubers include jwittz, a Pokemon maniac who specializes in the card game.  He and Abdallah are pretty clean as far as I know, so I watch the stuff with my little sisters.  I've heard Mariland is good though, too.  I like Fenniken and Chespin, but I'm probably a Froakie person myself.  But my all-time favorite Pokemon include Mew, Chikorita, Sentret, Castaform, and Ditto!  There's a bunch more, but I can't name them all here.  Needless to say, I'm psyched about X and Y.  Can't wait for my own copy!  If you have any suggestions about which Pokemon I should choose/capture, post them here as a comment.

Still, remember to have fun playing.  The best thing about Pokemon, to me, is that God used it to bring together me and my friends at school.  It's amazing to me, but He works in weird, wonderful ways.  Because we all played avidly, I was able to get to know a variety of amazing people, who do things like carry plastic R2D2's around in their backpacks as good luck charms, dress up as the 11th Doctor for School Spirit Week, and aren't afraid to share their faith.  Or fruit snacks.  So while Pikachu is cute, I think foremost about the amazing things God did with him for me.

So hold on to the things that make you happy.

You're never too old to believe in something good, and true.

You're never so mature that Ash Ketchum and Proffessor Oak aren't worth your time.

You're never, ever, ever in a place so dark that you can't choose to shine.

Take care--

Firefly.

book review: eleven birthdays

Hey, guys!  Well...nonexistent guys since nobody really follows this blog anyways.
Today, we have a book review!  Yay!
"Eleven" by Wendy Mass is a book about a young girl who gets into a fight with her best friend on their tenth birthdays.  They were born miraculously on the same day.  When her eleventh birthday rolls around, she finds it's horrible and is really glad it's over.  But the next day...it's her birthday again.  Long story short, she needs to reconcile with her friend or else every day will be her eleventh birthday forever.
The story is classic Wendy Mass.  It's sweet, fun, lighthearted, but it also carries it's own heavy note of truth.  Abbey (the main character) learns a lot about taking responsibilities for her actions, second chances, looking out for other people, third chances, forgiving people, fourth chances, and the importance of family.  Alongside sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth chances.  So, yeah.  It's a really sweet piece of chick lit that's family friendly for anyone who cares to read it.  I give it seven out of ten, and I definitely recommend it.

overworked and not paid at all

People keep promising me that life only gets worse.  And after a long, hard day's work, it's easy to believe!  So in the middle of all that depressing-ness, here's a little bit of sunshine for you're lives:

Done?  Yeah, I know.  They're awesome.  I mean, there's sunshine and rainbows coming from the guy's mandolin.  I don't think it gets much better than that.

Okay, so back to the main point:  sometimes life becomes a little too much.  Juggling work, family, friends, the future, religion, writing, saving the world, writing, reading, and writing can become a little much.  But, see, here's something that needs to be said:  God doesn't just send us into these things unprepared.  If we come to him, sometimes he'll pull off a miracle.

In the Bible, there's a story in the book of David where the Pharaoh sets an impossible task for his enchanters.  He wants them to interpret a dream for him, but he won't tell them what the dream is.  No one can answer, so instead he just tries to have all the wise men of the land (David included) killed.  (nice guy, I know).  When David hears about it, what does he do?  He and his buddies (you may know them as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo) all pray and fast, and God gives them the answer.

Before reading that, I just assumed he just stood up, spouted off some junk, and God made that the answer.  Now I know that's not how it works.  God prepares us, if we do everything we can to succeed.  We just have to trust in him to make us ready and work hard as we can.  David and his friends had to pray and fast and come before God.  It wasn't a random, spontaneous thing.  It's like when you take a test: you have to study for any results--you can't just sit down with a pencil and expect to know the answers.  After all the hard work, believe me, a "B" in a Biology test sure can feel like a miracle.

So don't give up.

Keep working hard.

Have a little faith!

Sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem.  

And yes, that is a cliche, but it's still true.

Love, Firefly

a moment

Haiku:

Rain falls, birds call, tree

See?  The pale pink petals torn

away from the branch?

Sometimes, I just want to sit here forever.  In this place where it is between stillness and motion--frozen.  The warm red glow of lantern light dancing off the walls.  The curtains drawn away from the window, where everything is blue, blue, blue, blurred by the rain.  And I am at peace.